I DON’T hear wedding bells.

I feel old. I’m 23, and I feel old. Like ‘burdened with expectations’ old. Not ‘student on a budget’ old.

I’ve reached that point in life, where I know people, who are my age, who are getting married. I also know people who are even older who are either getting married or are already married or have already had kids. At the above same point in my life, I am also asked by these earlier mentioned specimens, ‘So, when’s your wedding?’

Now being the frank and truthful person that I am, my answer is ‘I don’t know!’ This brings me to my next problem. In fact, my main problem. I WILL inevitably receive a sympathetic look. The kind that makes you feel awful about the fact that you are ‘single and in a relationship’ and nowhere close to being married. (I shudder to think what the ‘Look’ would be like, had I been just ‘single’.) The kind that makes you feel you don’t belong there, with them and in their company. The kind that makes you feel like you have to join this sorority or you’ll be shunned from every social gathering. The kind that makes you, the black sheep. The kind that makes you feel guilty about the fact that you’re not engaged or married. Bottom line – I get worked up.

This post is to let these married or soon to be married specimens know some basic facts about me. It is pretty obvious that if these specimens have not been able to comprehend these facts, they are in fact lost in their own world (wherever it is they come from).

I am 23. I am only a MBA student with an educational loan to pay off. I am in no hurry to be hitched, primarily because I have things to do with my OWN life before I am able to tie my life up with someone else. For example, get a job, earn, save, live it up with the money I earn, have perfect teeth, be sure of the fact that I’m in a place where I’m ready to be part of someone else’s life, sky dive, bungee jump, hold a snake without my heart racing fast, be able to ride astride a horse once again with courage, trek, go on a vacation somewhere exotic on my own, take risks, etc. I AM YOUNG! I AM 23!

I HAVE my OWN life. Just because YOU wanted to get tied up to someone else’s life, doesn’t mean I want to do the same. Just because YOU jumped into the well, doesn’t mean I have to as well. You’re NOT part of a sorority I WANT to join.

My answer to the question remains the same. I don’t know when I will be married. I do know I will be someday. When that day comes, I know I would have done most of the things I have wanted to do before I get married. Heck! I may still continue to do those things post wedding. I just want to reach that point in my life without having any regrets. I don’t want to burden my marriage with regrets. It’s not fair to the guy.

So when I know for sure, when my wedding will be, I’ll let you know. Till then, take your sympathy and shove it up your ass. Do something constructive like turn your attention on making your married life better, instead of being a Nosy Parker.

‘Guy whose guts I hate’, I hope you’re reading.

I’ll hear wedding bells eventually. Just, not yet. Till then, I like where I am right now and where my life is taking me.

xoxo

P

BFF

I’ve been caught up with the rest of my life. This should explain my hiatus from my blog. I won’t apologize for the same.

Life has been hard on me as far as friendship is concerned. I have learnt NOT to be gullible, NOT to trust easily, GIVE people the benefit of the doubt, GIVE people a second chance if I consider them worth my while, ALLOW relationships to grow on their own instead of forcing them to, and moreover cherish the few friends I have.

I found myself in a strange city with unknown people in the year 2007. And I met somebody special. Of course, at the point of time when I met her (the special somebody), I did not know how close I would become to her. We met every day. We shopped every day. We went for movies every day. We’ve had cups and cups of coffee together, spent hours at Koshy’s and Tibetan Market and at Inox. We have even spoken over the phone late at night, despite having spent hours together earlier in the day. I’ve cried to her. She’s cried to me. We have shared laughter. We’ve shared clothes, bags, shoes, feelings and emotions This friendship happened through circumstance - that of knowing people in common, of not knowing anyone else in Bangalore, of thinking alike despite being completely different, of having varied as well as similar tastes in everything and of agreeing to disagree. She is the only other person that has understood me completely, other than Baafs. She is, in many ways a carbon copy of Baafs. She is someone who never misinterprets anything I ever say or do. She is my alter ego. She is a part of who I am today. She will always be a part of me.

Today I stand before you, disoriented, lost and with an intense feeling of despair. For she will soon fly over the Indian Ocean to a country far away and I will once again, stand alone.

So I dedicate this blog post, my actual birthday gift to you, Tina. And try to, in some way, immortalize our friendship in cyberspace. Primarily because I don’t think I can do so in the real world we live in. I will also make this promise to you. I promise to cherish every moment we have ever spent together, miss you every day, think of you every day, call you on Skype whenever I can, and be by your side anytime you ever need me (even if I have to do so virtually).

This testimonial below, written by me and posted on your forgotten profile captures the true essence of what our friendship is:
“Tee!
She's My Rockstar, My Lunch Buddy, My Shopping Trip Pardner, VP of My Gossip Club, My Shots Pal, My Sucky-Movie-in-the-middle-of-the-afternoon-watcher frund and moreover My Sounding Board. She kicks my ass in Karting (though I purposely go off track and into the tyres). She'll try and whack me everytime I make a smart assed comment knowing fully well I can pin her down if I wanted to. I'm her official Bodyguard, I keep her Booty safe!! ;-) She always listens (n with few complaints) to me literally go Whiiiiiiine!!! She feeds me when I'm hungry n laughs her ass off at everything I say. She's my support when the Con Man aint around. She's my Appy's fav gal in B'lore. She's My Mom's Fish lover n My Dad's Booze lover. Moreover Tee is Me!
For the above mentioned reasons and loads more unmentioned ones, You are my Best Gal Pal!
Here's to you n Girlpower!! Cheers. You know I lou you.”

xoxo

P