R.I.P Pretentious Social Butterfly Bitch

Some friends drove down into town last weekend. They invited me to party with them. I came up with a great excuse. I’m the best liar I know, by the way. I only lie when absolutely necessary. But I’m digressing here. I just couldn’t stand the idea of having to spend a greater part of the night with the same guy, mentioned in the previous post, whose guts I hate. I also couldn’t plaster a fake smile on my face and be pretentious for five hours straight. I’d rather pull my hair out of my skull.

I do not like ‘socialising’ or ‘partying’. There I said it. It’s finally out in the open. I’m 23 and I’ve officially outgrown the ‘Social Butterfly’ phase I went through two years back. I can’t do it anymore. The whole meeting up at a bar, kissing in the air, greeting each other with fake smiles, having a few drinks, proceeding to get smashed at an after party and waking up in your own bed without a single recollection of the previous night is passé and stale for me. Not my scene.

I’d rather rent a movie and watch it with my favourite girls, drink beer and chat. Better still, cuddle up with Baafs. I have the freedom to be myself instead of this pretentious bitch I transform into when I’m placed with a crowd of people I barely know and who are as important to me as the moth that flies in and out of my window. This pretentious bitch has the capability of making small talk, kissing in the air, socializing and keeping her drinks down. This pretentious bitch is genuinely fond of only a handful of people who she will stick to, the majority of the night. She will tell you ‘Your dress looks lovely’ when she actually thinks it makes you look as attractive as a potato. She will gossip about the people you hate. She will laugh at your rather pathetic jokes. She will kiss you on your cheek and say goodbye to you, all the while hoping to see you only after a really long span of time.

I have to admit, there has been many nights when I’ve actually enjoyed myself. This happens when I have been me and not the pretentious bitch. Trust me. You’ll definitely know the difference. It also helps if Baafs is around. His absence is something I have to deal with without having to turn into a recluse. Therefore I turn to close friends now for fun nights out. Personally though, I’d rather I lock up the pretentious bitch in a room and throw away the key. I certainly don’t want to meet her. Would you? So R.I.P Pretentious Social Butterfly Bitch. You won’t be resurrected until the next time I’m in a crowd full of people I don’t know.

xoxo

P