Sellotaped Hearts

I have spent many hours over the phone with T, M and N analyzing and dissecting what people have said to me, what they meant by saying that to me, why did they have to do something like that etc. Post endless hours of trying to find answers to questions, I would have still been left without a concrete answer. I have also in turn been agony aunts for friends with similar issues, giving THEM perspective, calming THEM down.

End result of the above activity - zero answers, high cell phone bills, exhausted voices, tired brain cells.

When did we get so damn complicated?

We gossip. We bitch. We laugh behind people’s backs. We talk behind people’s backs. We betray. We hurt. We hurt others. We scheme. We counter-scheme. We cry. We make others cry. We run in the rat race. We are the rats. We make lots of money. We make others lose lots of money. We are hollow. We make others hollow. We watch our backs. We stick a knife through other backs. We protect a few backs. But let other backs be knifed. We steal. We kill. We invade. We go to war. We want world domination. We want control. We lose control. We are fake. We don’t live. Just exist. Off each other. Like parasites.

I’m tired. Of the above and more.

If there exists, life after death in a place called Heaven, I’m pretty darn sure God would point a finger at us, let out a scornful laugh and say ‘Ha! You fools. Look at how much of time you wasted doing stupid things to get stupid things. Your money and wealth is useless here. Ha! Ha! Ha! What idiots!’

I wonder what it would be like to live in the Garden of Eden with Adam, minus the serpent and the tree that gives knowledge of good and evil.

Unfortunately reality beckons me. There is yet another phone call to answer, another teary eyed friend to console, another broken heart to mend. Since spending these endless hours, attempting to help in anyway, is what makes us truly humane.

xoxo

P