I Scream at Ice Cream!

Face deep in a tub of deliciously, creamy ice-cream, I had the misfortune of coming across an article in the Economic Times. Yes! I eat ice-cream and read. Also the stray pup I tried saving last week had been killed by a truck. Sweet, cold, chocolatey food makes me feel better.

It is bad enough that there is a divide (with jagged rocks to fall on for those who try to cross over to the other side) between US, commoners and THEM, ‘crème de la crème’ who get invited to every ‘Premier’ opening, regardless of whether it is a movie or exhibition or an ‘exclusive’ peak at a new store. But to rub salt on open, bleeding wounds (from the attempted cross over) or to add yet another blow to our bruised egos, there was THIS very sign outside the new Haagen-Dazs outlet in south Delhi – ‘Entry restricted only to holders of international passports’.

The series of reactions that followed are (1) GASP! (2) Mother-&@#%*^# (3) Annoyance deep enough to chuck the tub of sin across the room (4) A sense of calm found only through meditation (5) A cynical laugh

Needless to say, wheels began stirring in that part of my mind, which could well be described as ‘delightfully duplicitous’ and I came up with wonderfully, shrewd schemes. Plant a bomb, blow the place up to smithereens and blame it on Osama (Well knowing the turmoil our world is going through, it could very well be possible). Mix rat poison into the ice-cream. Gas the damn place. Accompany a friend and pee on the door. Hey! I’m a commoner, remember. Were you expecting ‘original’ ideas?

It has been 62 years since the existence of ‘Dogs and Indians not allowed’ signs. So, I’ll just take my patronage elsewhere and stick my face in there. Hopefully with the 6-8 dollars less in their monthly P&L account, they’ll decide to ‘Quit India’.